This post was written by Jennifer
When Being Helpful Is A Time Waster
Last week I posted my time wasters (in case you forgot) and some solutions. Below are the time wasting activities; with solutions linked.
- Not knowing what to blog about first.
- Email, or should I say EMAIL!
- Moderating and responding to blog comments.
- Breaks during work hours.
- Getting side tracked while posting.
- Forums.
- Sleep, meals, and exercise.
- Twitter.
I haven’t mentioned forums yet, because my solution is pretty dull - quit visiting forums. Or at least really limit yourself. Forums have been a total time waste for me the last few months; mainly, I think, because I’m one of those helpful by nature sorts.
If you’re new to the world of blogging or freelance writing you can learn a lot by visiting blogging or writing forums. I’ve made many good friends at forums so I do appreciate them. However, if you’ve been writing or blogging a while, what happens is that you tend to offer too much help at forums, and don’t gain as much useful help back. Offering help is really nice, and not a bad use of time in general, but it’s also not a great use of time when you have work to get done.
When I frequent forums, I tend to get emails asking for personal help often. That’s cool. People helped me out when I was a newbie, and I do believe you should give back. It used to be I answered every single email I’d get from new writers or bloggers, but right now, my life is super busy. I just don’t have the time to answer every email. I wish I did, but I don’t. That said; I’ve drastically cut my forum time. I only visit three forums, and I never visit daily. I stop by once a week or so to see what’s new. Also, even when I do visit a forum, I tend to just read, not respond.
Being too helpful is not an activity that’s only attached to forums though. Along with cutting out most of my forum time, I’ve cut out answering emails from folks I don’t know, that don’t pertain to my blog topic. Say at Offbeat Homes. If you email about a house, it’s 100% likely I’ll respond. If you email asking for help about a blog, or how to find work, it’s unlikely I’ll respond. This is kind of a switch for me, a hard switch actually. I love to talk about blogging, I love to help people out, but there’s a point where being helpful is too draining, and that’s where I’m at right now.
Does this make me less nice? I don’t know, maybe. I actually do feel a little guilty when I delete emails. I tell myself, this is not about people I know, or friends I have already, this is about strangers emailing asking me really in-depth questions, that would take time to answer. Overall though, it’s tough not to respond. Since I have quit helping out so much, I do have more time to work though, so it’s a time management solution for sure.
Are you helpful to people you don’t know? How much help do you offer at forums? Where do you draw the line about who to help out, and who to let go?
Comments
5 Responses to “When Being Helpful Is A Time Waster”
Leave a Reply
I try to be helpful to lots of people I don’t know because I’ve benefited from help from strangers in the past, so it’s pretty much a belief of mine in several ways. I do try to keep it under control with a few key DON’Ts, though:
1. don’t spend too much time on each answer - try to point the next few steps, but don’t do all the work if it’s not a problem you share;
2. don’t spend any time on people who won’t accept your help - learning to spot them is difficult (repeating their question without mentioning the other forums or times they asked is one sign IMO), but at least the first point will limit your losses;
3. don’t take it offline - have a nice form letter written to tell people who private-message you that you don’t do free private consultations for strangers because they stop future strangers from learning from the results;
4. don’t let it get out of control - don’t feel bad if you limit it to about 3 answers for each question you ask.
MJ Ray - Great pointers! So, you can still help out, you just have rules. I like that. My issue is I should have a form letter for most questions (many are the same). I actually do have a “Where to find work” letter I send, but even then I tend to get second emails asking new stuff, so I get frustrated (when I’m busy).
If I go back to answering emails often, I’ll be using some of your pointers. Right now though, I’m just so busy.
I try to be helpful because people helped me and I like to give back as well. But what really irks me is when people want more than help, they want a magic pill and they don’t want to take responsibility for themselves. I often see people asking literally, “How do I make a lot of money with a blog” or my real favorites “Im a good writter, why cant i sell my stuff.”
But if I get an honest request from someone who’s put in the time, I’m happy to help where I can.
Cynthia, I think you hit the bigger issue on the head. There are some folks you can’t help; or at least you’d have to be a FT consultant to help. I like helping easy, honest requests too - but you get a lot of the other fix my world type mixed in.
[...] Forums [...]