My Phone Number is Unlisted
As a blogger, do you ever feel sort of odd that anyone and everyone from your past and present can find you, learn all about your current life, and figure out how to contact you easily, with just a click of their mouse?
I do a little. My phone number really is unlisted. I have one family member who I’d like to avoid, so I’m unlisted. I’d rather she not know how to contact me, and I especially don’t want her knowing where I live. However, recently, someone from my past did contact me, and it made me realize that as a blogger, an unlisted phone number is small change; I’m just not that hard to find.
The person who contacted me was not some good pal I had back in the day either, or some cute story like a cool ex boyfriend looking me up, it was someone I hadn’t seen since the age of maybe 12, and I could have gone the rest of my life with it that way.
The person who contacted me knew a lot about me, which is not that hard a task if you know how to use Google. At this point, I’ve been blogging and doing web copy for so long, that I’m running pages and pages long on search engines. Obviously I’m not as popular a search as some folks are, but I’m around enough that you can learn a lot about me with one search. It felt weird to know this person knew all about me, but that I knew nothing about her.
So, how do you deal with being all over the web? Here’s what I will and won’t do online:
I will:
- Use my full name.
- Say the state I live in.
- Share pictures or videos of my world - so long as they don’t give away my street sign or the front of my house or something.
- Talk about my life pretty honestly (see below for what I won’t discuss).
- Share my opinions, even if I think others might not agree. That’s blogging folks; also, I’m like that in the real offline world too so…
I won’t:
- Give my phone number anywhere online.
- Give my address.
- Give random personal info - bank accounts, social security, etc.
- Name exact places I’m going - i.e. I’ll say, “My son and I are taking off to the park” but not, “My son and I are taking off to Bush Park in downtown Salem, Oregon.”
- Use full names of other people I know in my offline world - either past or present. That’s not cool. For example, I might say, “I used to have this friend named Bob, he was awesome…” but not, “I have this friend Bob Brown in Albuquerque who works at…” That’s not my info to give. I know some bloggers do share info like this, but it makes me uncomfortable.
- Share everything: For example, I won’t blog major family issues. I’ll say, “I don’t like this person” or “I try to avoid so and so” but I’d never say, “My son’s dad cheated on me with ten girls and spent three years addicted to the sauce” - he didn’t, by the way, but you see what I mean. Why get so personal? Yeah, I get miffed with the ex, but being all vindictive online is sort of petty and lame in my opinion. Again, I know bloggers who will give everything away, but talking serious smack about people (ex evil mother-in-law excluded) is just not something I do.
What it all comes down to:
I don’t have many past demons. If I did, it’s very likely I wouldn’t be working online. I’ve been pretty lucky in that I don’t have a bunch of ex mates I parted badly with. Except for one early overly dramatic high school boyfriend, I always got along pretty well with an ex after a break up. I don’t have any weird old friend dramas to deal with or enemy co-workers from past jobs. All in all, I can only think of one or two people from my past who I’d rather not hear from, and there’s nothing I’m trying to keep hidden in my past (like say, illegal activity).
If you’re considering blogging full-time, it might be smart to consider your past and future contacts and behaviors. If your past is littered with oodles of people you’d rather not hear from, or you’ve done super shady stuff; stuff that you don’t want broadcast online, then blogging might not be for you. If you’re uncomfortable being easy to find, then blogging is absolutely not for you.
What do you think? Are you uncomfortable with the thought of being all over the Internet and easy to find? AND how do you keep your life somewhat your own, even if you have an online presence?
Are You Abusing Your Online Friendships?
I’m all about the blogosphere and social networking. If there’s anything I can do for my online friends, I gladly do so. As someone who has been communicating with others online for almost ten years, I have an arsenal of friends who I would gladly give the shirt off my virtual back. Some of my newer friends are starting to wear out their welcome, however. Now, I realize you have to have a certain amount of friends online to succeed, but I guess that depends on your definition of friend. If online friend means the same thing as real world friend, we’re pretty much on the same page. If your definition of an online friend is someone to send a constant barrage of social media voting requests, and nothing else, you’re wearing out that welcome in a major way.
Friendship is more than Diggs and Stumbles
I recently wrote up a little rant about party plan parties. In it I said if I’m not on your Christmas card list or someone you communicate with more than once every few years, don’t invite me to your Tupperware party. I feel the same way about Diggs and Stumble requests. If you’re not going to respond to your email, if you’re not going to say hello on Twitter or Skype every now and then just to see how I’m doing (like I do with all my friends) don’t send me your Digg or Stumble request. Especially if I never saw your blog or website before in my life or if you’re in the habit of posting negative things about my blogs on yours.
In the past few months I cut out asking people to Digg or Stumble my work too for this same reason. I know there are people on my list who would gladly do for me as I would do for them. These are the people with whom I communicate daily or weekly - even monthly. Every now and then I’ll ask for a Stumble from them. I rarely if ever ask for favors from people outside this list of close friends because I don’t want to abuse favors from people I don’t even know.
How to be a good online friend
- You visit each other’s blogs and website and comment in a positive way.
- You link to other blogs and websites because you want to turn others on to something new.
- You email your friends once in a while - even when you don’t want something.
- You participate in different forums or social networking sites because you enjoy others’ company not because you want them to do something for you.
- You contact your online friends for reasons other than asking for Diggs or Stumbles.
- If you do ask for Diggs and Stumbles, you offer to do the same in return.
- You Digg and Stumble your friends stuff without even being asked.
How to abuse your online friendships
- You email only to ask others to link to your posts.
- Certain online friends only hear from you when you send a shout on Digg.
- You only Skype with certain friends to ask for a Stumble.
- Your only Tweet when you’re offering up a link to your blog posts.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask…
There’s nothing wrong with asking others for some social media loving now and then. Before you send out a shout, ask yourself if you communicate with these people for other reasons than to ask for votes or links to your work. If so, you’re in danger of abusing your friendships. If not, do ask but please return the favor even when others don’t make that request of you. Show your friends you appreciate their work by voting for them even when they don’t send a request. Treat your online friends the same way you’d treat your real world friends, unselfishly.
So, How Come You Don’t Respond To Comments?
I’m dead serious.
If you work for a network, any network, where say team work is sort of encouraged by networks heads and editors, yet you refuse to respond when readers leave you comments, I’m just curious why. I’m not talking the random no response. I’ve done that. I’m talking about when I’ve left at least 10 comments at your blog in the span of a year, and you’ve never, not once responded back.
I have some ideas.
- Your page views are good no matter if you respond to readers or not, so why bother.
- I’m not leaving the right sort of comment.
- You’re too busy.
- You do respond to readers, just not readers who also blog for your network.
- Your editor never set it up so you get emails - you’re not ignoring me, you just don’t know about me.
Basically I’m curious because there are a couple of network blogs I like a lot. I’ll read, comment, nothing, and yet still return. Which one, I’m done with, because it’s getting old, and two this goes against everything I’ve ever heard about traffic. I.e you should respond back to readers.
I guess I’ve always thought responding is a good plan. I’ve never heard an argument against responding to reader comments. If you happen to be a network blogger who never responds I really am curious about how come (not in a mad way, in a very real curious way).
Maybe you can offer some ideas about this in the comments.
Why I Don’t Meme
Not a week goes by I don’t get tagged for a blogging meme. I used to meme with gusto and tag in return, but I had to stop. It got to the point where I had to wonder if they weren’t sucking up too much time and if my readers really cared whether I drive a black car or how I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my late 30’s. Here’s why I don’t meme:
Memes Take Time
I just don’t have the time to respond to everyone who tags me for a blogging meme. This might go back to my being a lazy blogger, but at this stage of my game, I’d rather post good relevant content to my blogs and bring in the masses that way. Since the people who tag are usually people in the blogger’s’ own circle, memes don’t generally bring in more traffic anyway.
Memes are Selfish
I enjoying adding personal anecdotes and amusing stories into my blog, but memes are selfish. I don’t want it to be all about me. I feel it gets boring and readers don’t respond well when it’s all about me.
Readers Don’t Always Get It
How confusing would it be to come to a blog for information on saving money only to read "5 Reasons I’m Like a Rhinoceros?" Granted, that’s a really silly meme but most memes are off topic. If I was a first time visitor and came across a meme post at my blog Simply Thrifty, for example, I might not be inclined to come back. If I was a regular reader, I might get bored at all the memes and wonder why can’t discuss coupon clipping, recycling and my DIY fence project.
Not all memes are off topic, but it’s my feeling those who want to establish themselves as authorities in their topics need to lay off the memes - or at least relegate them to a personal blog.
Memes Are too Personal
I don’t enjoy reading many memes for the same reason I don’t like writing them. They’re too personal. I know my readers know a lot about me because I do use personal stories to illustrate a post, but I also believe there’s such a thing as too personal. I know other bloggers feel differently but I don’t want to throw out information about my home town, my husband and son’s names, and other bits of information. I don’t feel it’s safe in this day and age to release too many personal details. Besides, who cares how many kids I have or whether or not I breastfed?
Do You Meme?
Do you meme? If so, do you notice a difference in traffic? How are the comments - are the only people participating the ones who are involved in the meme or do you get a positive response from all your readers. Am I the only meme grouch out there?
Why Bloggers Love Twitter
It’s no secret I’m addicted to Twitter. This virtual water cooler makes me feel like I’m not working alone - even when I am. I can send out a Tweet and receive advice, answers to questions and drink orders. Plus, I can let everyone know when a new blog post is up. Really, what’s not to like?
Darren Rowse recently asked Twitterers why they love Twitter and then put the response in this clever video:
Why do you love Twitter?
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